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  1. Hot Dog Heaven

From the recording Double Vision

Lyrics

I'm an ordinary New Age guy with three kids and a wife
Lookin' for the answers to the mysteries of life
I've regressed through thirteen lifetimes, to try and make amends
And on Wednesdays I go drumming with my New Age friends
I know that life's a journey, and everything must change
But something happened yesterday that left me feelin' strange
I was goin’ to buy some crystals at my favorite store downtown
When I turned the corner and looked up, this is what I found

CHORUS: My New Age crystal bookstore is Hot Dog Heaven now
Where once I searched for inner peace, there's innards from a cow
They'll still make you one with everything, but it's not the same somehow
It's dogs instead of dogma at Hot Dog Heaven now

My inner child was angry; to be frank he was incensed
But my inner parent told him, "There are no accidents."
Some cosmic force has caused the plans I made to be reversed
And brought me to this hot dog stand, perhaps not for the wurst
Before I gave up eatin' meat, I'd buy 'em by the dozen
But what if in a former life this hot dog was my cousin
Joseph Campbell said where your bliss leads you oughtta follow
But this double foot-long chili dog is awful hard to swallow

CHORUS: My New Age crystal bookstore is Hot Dog Heaven now
Where once I searched for inner peace, there's innards from a cow
They'll still make you one with everything, but it's not the same somehow
It's munching and not I Ching at Hot Dog Heaven now

This whole thing got me thinkin', and I know it's kind of odd
But if there's a Hot Dog Heaven, could there be a Hot Dog God?
Are the streets all paved with mustard in that holy hot dog land
Does Oscar Mayer guard the gate with a wiener in each hand?
And if there's a Hot Dog Heaven, is there a tofu hell
Where carnivores run screaming when they hear the dinner bell?
Some questions we can't answer, and perhaps we shouldn't try
But as that neon frank lights up the night, I sit and wonder why.

CHORUS: My New Age crystal bookstore is Hot Dog Heaven now
Where once I searched for inner peace, there's innards from a cow
They'll still make you one with everything, but it's not the same somehow
It's kraut instead of crystals at Hot Dog Heaven now
Pepsi not recovery
Onion rings not earrings
Trash cans and not ashrams at Hot Dog Heaven now